smorg

New category: ‘Rules for knowing me’. A list of rules you should be aware of when dealing with me and my numerous idiosyncrasies.

Phone Rules
I hate using the phone, I really, really do. It doesn’t give me time to think before I talk, which can be disastrous.
• If you call me, and I hear the toilet flush, I WILL hang up on you, no questions asked. Gross.
• If you call me and don’t leave a voicemail, Im not going to call you back. If it’s not important enough to leave a message about, it’s not important enough for me to call you back.
• As an addendum to that — if your voicemail says nothing more than ‘call me’, and that’s it, I’m probably not going to call you back. Sorry.