smorg

Another instant classic from the Onion.

CEDAR RAPIDS, IA—Kevin Higgins always hated gym class. Like many of his classmates, he questioned the relevance of things like “exercise” and “physical fitness,” and wondered if these skills would ever have any real-world applications. Though he endured more than 720 hours of gym over 12 years, the 38-year-old accounting clerk said Monday that he has still never used physical education once in his life.

“I don’t know why they bothered teaching us all that stuff,” said Higgins, who since graduating has not once encountered in a situation that required him to move his body at a sustained pace or keep himself in healthy shape.

Very pointy article by Megan Garber at the Columbia Journalism Review:

Dear Journalists,

We’re writing to inform you that there’s an injustice being carried out in the late weeks of this presidential campaign, a blight that threatens the reputation of the entire journalistic profession. Yes, we’re referring to “gotcha journalism”—a failure on the part of the media to demonstrate the proper deference to the public officials who serve us, protect us, and put our country first—and we fear that it is spreading, like a worm through bad apples, among normally self-respecting, respectful reporters.

Coming this November?

Bands unemployment level hits an all time 20% high.

BOSTON — After years of relative stability, the Aerosmith unemployment rate soared to an all-time high of 20 percent Monday following the downsizing of the band’s vocal sector, Steven Tyler.
Tyler, already dangerously underweight, says he will struggle to put food on the table without a steady income.
The announcement of the largest-ever round of Aerosmith layoffs sent shock waves throughout the group, but band leaders said that four decades of perfect employment was “unrealistic” and that it was necessary to shed some of the graying, outmoded workforce.

Ok, first, a car repair shop in the UK is being sued because the mechanics played the radios in the cars too loudly, making the songs being played a ‘performance’ and violating the ‘license’ to play them.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/7029892.stm

And you thought the RIAA was bad!

Next, a 75 year-old woman took a hammer into her local Verizon office and beat the crap out of it, all because they offered her crappy service and no support.
:)

Shaw was arrested for disorderly conduct after she took a hammer to several items in the office - all the while saying, “Have I got your attention now?”

Click to read the article.

Via Andy, via his brother: the ultimate game show, courtesy of those wacky Japanese.

A few years back, Holly and I attended an event sponsored by Intel, in Atlanta. We were guests of my boss at the time, Bliz, and the event was for OEM chip users.

The night was dinner and drinks and entertainment, provided by none other than Richard Jeni, who was already a well known performer. He was freaking funny and very accessible, and it was really amazing to sit around having a few drinks while listening to this genuinely funny guy rant and rave and hold court over a willing audience.

Earlier, I was talking to Andy on iChat, and was telling him about making dinner earlier, and about enjoying cooking.

I wrote:

I love to cook. the timing, the pressure, the presentation at the end, the satisfied sounds of people enjoying it. it’s like sex, but messier.

I hate to toot my own own horn, but that’s pretty freaking funny. Of course, ‘drew brings out the funny in me every time…
If only I could make a living out of being a smartass. Sigh.