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Very pointy article by Megan Garber at the Columbia Journalism Review:

Dear Journalists,

We’re writing to inform you that there’s an injustice being carried out in the late weeks of this presidential campaign, a blight that threatens the reputation of the entire journalistic profession. Yes, we’re referring to “gotcha journalism”—a failure on the part of the media to demonstrate the proper deference to the public officials who serve us, protect us, and put our country first—and we fear that it is spreading, like a worm through bad apples, among normally self-respecting, respectful reporters. Members of the press have lately been asking direct questions of a vice presidential candidate who has done little to deserve such questioning.

Yes, we know. It is horrifying.

And it gets worse: The problem of gotcha journalism has recently become so pronounced that, now, it’s being engaged in not merely by journalists, but also by voters themselves (though, we should note, we have yet to see any convincing proof that such “members of the electorate” are, in fact, concerned citizens, rather than self-interested partisans and/or individual organs of the liberal media elite out to spread their socialist agenda to freedom-loving Americans). Take, for example, the Temple University grad student who, while waiting in line for a Philly cheese steak on Monday and finding himself face-to-face with Sarah Palin, asked her about Pakistan. (“How about the Pakistan situation?” the sweatshirt-swathed scamp demanded. “What are your thoughts about that?”) Which is shameful. Just shameful. His lips may have said, “Pakistan,” but his eyes said, “Gotcha.”

Where is the deference, Random Grad Student? Sarah Palin has done nothing but volunteer to serve the nation—our nation—by being A Heartbeat Away from the Presidency; how dare you ask her about the situation in some foreign country? Have you left no sense of decency?

This behavior simply cannot continue. The audacity we’ve seen in our media of late—Katie Couric, as you may have heard, recently had the temerity to ask Palin about the economy—is becoming a disgrace to the profession, and an insult to all Americans. Those who care about journalism and its future must unite against such misbegotten attempts to inform the electorate.

Therefore, to patrol the situation—and, we hope, to remedy it—we’ve developed specialized software that will allow us to track the levels of gotcha-ism present in each and every one of the four interviews conducted between Sarah Palin and members of the media. Gotchaware™ uses a complex algorithm—accounting for, among other things, elapsed seconds of Awkward Pause between the interviewer’s questions and the interviewee’s answers, the degree of inquisitive head-cocking on the part of the interviewer, the centrifugal force of the interviewer’s professorial foot-circling, and the number of undergraduate institutions attended, in all, by both participants—to calibrate with remarkable precision the glib elitism and all-out maliciousness a journalist betrays in his or her interview.

Gotchaware™ tracks a reporter’s rudeness as he or she tries to trap Ms. Palin with questions about tribal regions ending in “-stan,” queries relating to an economic crisis that no one but Hank Paulson really understands, requests for clarification following nonsensical answers, the use of polysyllabic words, etc. And it works, according to our pilot runs of the software:

* Charlie Gibson, September 11, 2008:
Question: “Have you ever met a foreign head of state?”
Gotcha Quotient: 95
Reason: First of all, foreign policy-related questions are incredibly unfair. As Laura Bush herself said, Palin lacks foreign policy experience, but she is a very quick study. And we haven’t given her enough time actually to study. So you can’t ask about that. Second, Gibson already knew that Palin had never met a foreign head of state. Third, everyone knows that foreign policy questions are always designed to force candidates to pronounce “Ahmadinejad.” Dirty pool, Mr. Gibson.

* Sean Hannity, September 17, 2008:
Question: “Explain when you were governor and, as governor of Alaska, how you took on your own party.”
Gotcha Quotient: 23
Reason: Two-part questions are notoriously tricky to answer. Explain both when you were governor and how you were governor? Also, “party” is incredibly unclear, since it can mean both “political party” and “social gathering.” And what self-respecting politician would want to take responsibility for opposing a party that involves delicious snacks and six-packs of beer?

* Katie Couric, September 30, 2008:
Question: “What newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this to stay informed and to understand the world?”
Gotcha Quotient: 98
Reason: Trying to trap “Ms. Joe Sixpack” into admitting that she reads publications sponsored by the Elite Liberal Media? Trying to force a politician to admit that she reads at all? Slick, Ms. Couric, slick.

* Hugh Hewitt, September 30, 2008:
Question: “Have you followed the attacks on you, say, via Drudge or the blogs? Some of them are just made up and out of left field, others are just mocking. Do you follow those?”
Gotcha Quotient: 9
Reason: Those attacks are certainly vile and disgraceful and deserving of being called out in an interview with the governor. But mentioning “mocking” goes too far. You’re talking to a lady, Mr. Hewitt. Discussions of mockery and other species of rudeness have no place in mixed company.

So there it is, proven with scientific accuracy: Journalists of all stripes are becoming gotcha-ist. And, in turn, elitist and smug and mean to a woman who has done nothing but run for office. Once again, we have to say: This cannot stand. How much more of this rudeness and scorn can we afford?

Do your part. Buy Gotchaware™ today.

Sincerely,

The Journosoft Team

Coming this November?

Bands unemployment level hits an all time 20% high.

BOSTON — After years of relative stability, the Aerosmith unemployment rate soared to an all-time high of 20 percent Monday following the downsizing of the band’s vocal sector, Steven Tyler.

Tyler, already dangerously underweight, says he will struggle to put food on the table without a steady income.

The announcement of the largest-ever round of Aerosmith layoffs sent shock waves throughout the group, but band leaders said that four decades of perfect employment was “unrealistic” and that it was necessary to shed some of the graying, outmoded workforce.

“Explaining to a longtime Aerosmith employee that his or her job is being eliminated is one of the most difficult challenges we face in this business,” Aerosmith manager Trudy Green said in a statement released this morning. “We thank Steven for his many years of loyal service, and wish him the best of luck in all his future endeavors.”

Analysts speculate that the sector-wide layoff was a result of multiple factors, including redundancies in the singing-songwriting division, rising rehab fees that have cost the group millions, and a 34 percent decline in jump-kicks since 2003. In addition, some of Aerosmith’s younger, more ambitious employees, such as Joe Perry, 57, are willing to sing and play an instrument at the same time, often for half the salary.

“Tying a scarf to a microphone stand is unfortunately no longer a marketable skill,” IndustryWeek editor David Blanchard said. “To compete in today’s job market, you need to diversify your skill set. Someone who can not only sing, but also play tambourine and haul heavy equipment, is infinitely more valuable to a company.”
Enlarge Image Aerosmith Chart

Aerosmith, whose unemployment rate has held steady at 0 percent since the start-up rock outfit went public in 1970, recently underwent a paradigm shift away from what many deemed an antiquated business model. In the early 2000s, Aerosmith stopped manufacturing hits and instead began to focus primarily on repackaging and redistributing its existing product. This, Green said, made Tyler dispensable.

Tyler was reportedly informed of the decision 45 minutes before the band was scheduled to go onstage for a performance, and was told to pack up his belongings and turn in his Aerosmith “wings” pin before the audience arrived.

“Thirty-eight years of work, and this is the thanks I get?” said Tyler, who was set to retire in just 18 months. “It’s embarrassing. When [guitarist] Ray [Tabano] left back in ’71, we all got treated to a nice dinner and some cake on his last day. And he was only in the band for five months.”

“The only reason I came on with Aerosmith in the first place was the job security,” added Tyler, who said that after nearly 40 years of waking up at 5 p.m. sharp and going to work, he won’t know what to do with himself when unemployed. “And I liked being able to come in wearing an unbuttoned leather shirt and a leopard-print cowboy hat. Where else am I going to find a job like that?”

Morale among the remaining Aerosmith employees, Tyler’s coworkers said, is low.

“I’m going to miss Steven,” said rhythm guitarist Brad Whitford. “He was a good guy, and, I don’t know, I thought he sang pretty well.”

This cost-cutting personnel change is Aerosmith’s most radical shift in economic model since the band’s experiments as a drug-trafficking cartel from 1978 to 1984, their brief 1986 merger with Run-DMC, and their short-lived 1994 attempt to switch over to fabricating microchips.

“This restructuring is exactly what Aerosmith needs right now,” said Justin Levine, an analyst at Lehman Brothers. “Frankly, they’ve been in brand decline since that Super Bowl halftime show with Britney Spears.”

“Everyone was hurt badly in the big 1998 Armageddon Bubble,” said Bill Griffeth, host of CNBC’s Power Lunch. “At that point, practically everyone—even members of the younger generation—bought into Aerosmith, but it was clear that they would not be able to sustain that level of global interest. In truth, purchasing any of their material since Get A Grip has involved a substantial level of risk.”

Tyler is not the only one in the industry to be affected by the recent recession. In January, Bad Company was outsourced to China, and just last week, Don Henley of the Eagles was replaced by a drum machine.

Ok, first, a car repair shop in the UK is being sued because the mechanics played the radios in the cars too loudly, making the songs being played a ‘performance’ and violating the ‘license’ to play them.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/7029892.stm

And you thought the RIAA was bad!

Next, a 75 year-old woman took a hammer into her local Verizon office and beat the crap out of it, all because they offered her crappy service and no support.
:)

Shaw was arrested for disorderly conduct after she took a hammer to several items in the office – all the while saying, “Have I got your attention now?”

Click to read the article.

Via Andy, via his brother: the ultimate game show, courtesy of those wacky Japanese.